Sunday, January 30, 2005
reschedule
this week was crazy. i've been so wasted. i dont if its because i'm working too much or sleeping less or both. but whatever it is.. i really need to plan my time well and reschedule. i was mr zombie for one week and i think thats enough. and i realised that i need to socialise and smile more. i think.
the sky these few nights is amazing. kinda reminds me of when i was in china for yep. its like when you bring your guitar out to the open.. and strum one simple chord.. its just rings through the silence and darkness. amazing. i remember when i strummed it onced in the middle of the night in the middle of the basketball court .. i just stopped breathing. and when you start playing.. its just you and the stars. where God is. sigh.. cant do that here. the moment my amplifier exceeds a decible.. my neighours start screaming.
ps: dre, please teach me how to delete tagbaord postings
t
Monday, January 24, 2005
its a mad life
for those who think life is crappy... please go and watch hotel rwanda. i watched it today and it really does deserve its 5 stars because it not only rox big time.. but also because its a true story that really deserves us people to look into. the world out there is in pain compared to here. real pain. sad though.. to see people in S'pore taking the things they have for granted. and i'm no darn exception.
t
Saturday, January 15, 2005
a match made in heaven.. with a blotch stained on earth
i'm starting this book by lois wingerson called unnatural selection. its on genetics.. on its promises, power and pains. yeah.. the arty people like james wouldnt bother reading this. anyway, what bothers me the most is the pains of it all. and not to mention that i've only read the first 9 pages..
there's this disease called the tay-sachs disease. its mostly found in jewish communities. because of a slight genetic variation, just one of a thousands of brain chemicals is missing in children with the tay-sachs disease. the outcome is catastrophe. fatty subtances grow in the brains of these children and balloons. pressing and crushing all the brain nerves. then the brain stops transmitiing signals and stops funtioning... eventually killing the child.
can you imagine.. an endearing infant of a few months turning into a staring, drooling, immobile child with blind eyes and an overlarge head. reaching the sixth birthday is already a miracle. sigh.. sometimes i wonder.. who deserves more pity? a child who is swept away in an instant by a tsunami.. or one who dies a slow painful ailing death.
and because this is a hereditary disease.. at least one of the parent must have a normal gene structure. so every jewish child has to take a blood test and keep a confidential six-digit id. and then when a couple falls in love and plan to get married, their parents dial and call a number to check their child's id over the phone. if both are positive for the tay-sachs.. then the automated voice says is match in unacceptable. and so to keep it confidential.. the parents give some other reason why they cant be together. and if both the samples are unaffected by the gene.. the match would be confirmed acceptable.. and the marriage ceremony proceeds.
sad isnt it? you meet someone and it feels like a match made in heaven. he is everything she wants. she is everything he needs. you fight through tough times together. everything feels so right. but then.. there just one small little thing that puts everything thing into ONE LITTLE FULL STOP
(.)
seriously.. being the people of God that we are.. life stops on something more than just a full stop. we fight on. we pray on.
haha... wonderful.. i'm late for the competition now. (!!!)
t
Monday, January 10, 2005
today i was with me
today after cell.. i managed to spend the whole day on my own. i did my work the whole day in town alone. i managed to walked the whole of orchard alone without getting lost. (ok .. maybe a little.) and the cool thing i found out was that .. when you're alone and kinda isolated for a period of time without talking to anyone.. you tend to think a lot.. like A LOT. your mind thinks and roams a lot. i thought about God, school, life, the tsunami and etc. well, maybe because when you feel lonely.. you talk and related stuff to yourself. but not too gd when its prolonged.
great.. now i really need someone to talk to.
sigh.. i miss my grandpa.
t
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
2005
the second year
arrives subtly in waves of pain.. anguish.. paradoxical renewal
no God
to be called upon.. for comfort.. for a stairway to heaven
no final goodbyes
just a body to cry on.. to pray on.. yet said - to no God
five days
before a new start.. a year.. a new prayer
..move on
t