on the tram. where i think.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
retarDed moments (thanks alv) hahaha.. i was bored and wanted to fiddle around with photoshop for a while. i just hope darRyl would laugh along when he sees this. i thought the pics were highly amusing.. esp daryl's one. super funny. haha... photos were taken in desaru, courtesy of serena (i didnt take any pictures sadly). go check out her blog for more wacky pics of the retreat. ;)
ps: the 'act cute' pics have nothing.. i repeat.. nothing.. to do with my personality. dont know about darRyl though. ;)
t
i was bored
t
Monday, May 23, 2005
even the stars refuse to shine back from youth retreat. really cool. not so much about the fun and the sun (i'm red and in pain) ... but more about the bonding and deeper understanding with others and with God. bad sadly.. it came as a shock when we were told that pastor hong's wife passed away. it was so sudden that it practically brought silence to everyone's mind. but after thinking and sharing with my cell.. i've decided not to question God's authority.. depsite how unfair it may seem. sometimes.. its for a higher purpose.
i even realised that when i spent the whole two nights looking at the night sky, it seemed as though that there were far less stars in the second night.. even though i knew that they were still all out there. guess sometimes.. its not the situation thats changing and becoming different.. its the way we feel that makes things seem different. we can be emotionally deluded at times.
and i'd also like to remind someone that when its time to let go.. let go. its tough.. but theres no point looking back and hoping that he'll take you back. he won't. face it. i'm not trying to be harsh.. but rather.. factual about it. if you let yourself become broken.. then you're no winner. and there's no point attracting all the sympathies. friends can give you support.. but its your battle and decision in the end. smile and cheer up :). you're much much wiser and stronger than that. will keep you in prayer
ps: i can box him for you if you want to! haha... ok.. kiddin.
t
Monday, May 16, 2005
one race, run it.
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. ~Acts 20:24
uncle chee boon shared this today and i've realised that i'm no where near there that. it really did hit me and i'm saddened that it has taken me 18 yrs to realise that. i've always had the habit of looking at backslided or hypocritical christians and giving them the 'not happening' look. but i have to outrightly say that when placed beside these people in front of God.. i'm no different. not one bit! it angered me to know of Christians who turned their cheeks away from God from mon to sat.. but now it angers me even more to realise that if there was a checklist for the hypocritical christian.. i would perfectly fit the bill! materialism, pride, laziness, evil thoughts, trash talking.. you name it. they've been there all along. its just that i have been giving the 'for-goodness-sake-i'm-a-teenager-for-crying-out-loud!!' reason. i'm convicted. but deep deep down.. i know that this is no live-changing revelation that is going to change me overnight. neither am i going to be a holier duane when i wake up tmr morn. but what i do hope is that blogspot.com will remain up and running for as long as God wills it.. so that i can look back at this post when i need a nudge or a kick in the gluteus maximus. so firstly.. i have to change the way i pray and start to REALLY speak to God. no more 'grant me a perfect girlfriend'.. 'give me steve vai's fingers and joe satriani's dexterity'.. 'give me an A for my test tmr'..'i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul (radiohead)'.. 'strike that kid who punched me'...'grant me a girlfriend NOW'.. no more of that anymore. coz as the verse says it all.. i'm quite a nothing. i'm just gonna be a blank piece of paper and let God write the life story the way he wants it. i'll try at least. and i hope that all this says something to someone. esp to my brothers-in-Christ.
t
punked
t
Friday, May 13, 2005
tick tock today is one of those days when you are in serious need of time. and you wish that you can 'borrow' some time from the past.. when i lasted wasted it. like slacking, stoning and napping. don't even ask me why i can find time to type this. it just happens.
t
Saturday, May 07, 2005
today. i'm trying to write only about today so that i won't be pressured to remember all the wacky and retarted stuff that happened during that past few days.
today.. played golf in the crazyily hot weather with some italian dude, marco. some businessman who's here for some water chlorination project. haha.. and i thought that was pretty cool coz i just learnt about the processes of water chlorination in chem lect. but apparently.. despite being in such the business for a decade.. he knows nuts about it.. haha. guess he's just into the econs aspect of it. anyway.. with all that aside.. i should talk about his golf. boy.. watching him play was like watching espn. he sunk in huge footers like nobody's business and blazed thought the fairways with his driver. so it's no doubt that i looked like an absolute retart playing beside him. but still gotta thank him for giving me two things. aspiration and sheer retartdation.
today.. i ran all around bedok to find my mom a mother's day gift. i had only 15 mins left before all the shops would close. it reminded me of last xmas when i had to run all around singapore to get all the needed presents in one day. anyway.. i was hobbing all around bedok until God gave me a nice nudge and told me to stop and turn right. and i thank Him for that.. coz if not.. i wouldnt have got a korean drama serial which would rock my mom's socks off. thats what happens when ingenuity and God come together. ;)
this point onwards.. its going to be senseless ramblings.
i feel like i really need God at the moment.. just that i dont really know what is going wrong. its like feeling sick but you cant tell the doc whats wrong. and certain pple may just say stuff that may be slightly untrue or deviated.. and it just really gets into you. just when i was about to say.. 'so much for trying to be a mr nice guy', God showed me psalms 34:19 "A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all." so instead of that.. what i can say now is 'bugger off'. and its sad how pple these days make assumptions, postulations and guessworks on grounds that dont even exist. but i'm ok with it as always. coz life never spices up without such speculations in life. and stating one of my 2005 resolutions - "be more sociable with pple around me". i think i've been really improving and working into that and able to stike it off as a successful check on the list. but after one of those long deep thinking that really really sets you thinking... and thoughts that go into a scattering frenzy, i've realised that i've been socially irresponsible. why? i think coz i've been giving too many wrong signals which only leads to misunderstanding. and there are actually several people out there whom i WANT to know more about and socialise. but right now.. thats not quite happening. once again.. raise up your hand if you understand these scratchings.
i need to smile more
t