Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Calmer of the Storm
When everything is wrongThe day has passed and nothing's doneAnd the whole world seems against meWhen I'm rolling in my bed, there's a storm in my headI'm afraid of sinking in despair.Teach me, Lord to have faithIn what you're bringing me willChange my life and bring you glory &..There on the storm I am learning to let goOf the will that I so long to controlThere may I be in your arms eternallyI thank you, Lord, you are the calmer of the storm.You rebuke the wind and the wavesOnce again I find I'm amazed & the power of your willCuz I'm a child of little faithI feel the wind and forget your graceAnd you say, "Peace, be still."There on the storm I am learning to let goThe white wave's high, it's crashing o'er the deckAnd I don't know where I goWhere are you Lord, is my ship going down?The mast is gone so throw the anchorShould I jump and try to swim to land?There on the storm, teach me God to understandOf the Will that I just cannot controlThere may I see all you love protecting meI thank you Lord, you are the calmer of the storm.
~ downherethis song really calmed my nerves and gave me courage. if anyone wants it please do ask. its really nice and meaningful. and also a reminder that Jesus stands for Calmer of the storm.
thank you
t
Sunday, February 26, 2006
sorry
once again i've pissed/bugged/hurt someone. i can't put to words how sorry i am.
if you didn't know, duane here has a fine talent in screwing up friendships. fine talent.
t
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
i am forced to blog about this against my will. i obviously wouldnt if weiming stopped calling me non-stop to do so. dude. cheap thrill la.
sigh. i was in town with him. i was looking for a book to buy. he was doing the usual babe watching. suddenly he shouted something like "OMGosh!! thats emileen from sa!! look look look!" and i was like "'where where?" AND for some dumb reason i found myself crashing into a wall nose first and collasping on the floor in front of the entire singapore. so there. happy? pfft. and 'emileen the babe'.. whoever you are. . i'll remember you. for the very wrong reasons that is.
t
Monday, February 20, 2006
good works
i am a lump of sinew. yes. thats right. with nothing more but a breathe of life by the Life Giver. that's how i've been picturing myself. i think i've been lazing around too much. been working my butt off just to get some not-so-necessary extra cash. i'm not flaunting it.. but i've got everything i need for a comfortable life already. on top of that, i'm still young and able.
so i've my mind set to be a more useful lump. besides.. i dont have much time left to live in civilisation. and i think by the time i get out of the navy, i'll be back and busy in the studying force again. so i've applied for voluntary work in the children's society. sing, play, act, make lil friends, organise.. anything man. haha. as long as it's a significant contribution. guess i'll be heading down to the society to pick up any vacancies. think its at bukit merah or something.
about my hearing. i've been praying and thanks for those who prayed for me too. as some people have told me, i feel that it's a lesson from God.. to
really start
listening. i believe that there is always someone or two whom we've missed out in listening to wholeheartedly.. or some valuable lessons on life that we let past our ears. so please, appreciate what you're listening to
every single moment. oh.. and God bless good ol alan smith.
t
Sunday, February 19, 2006
i was thinking if God gave me a choice to be either blind or deaf.. i'd rather choose to be blind. no doubt about that. it has always been a nightmare to think of myself going deaf. it doesnt matter if i'm blind.. just a little inconvenience caused. but if i become deaf.. i won't be able to listen to the music i love, hear myself play the guitar, feel the voices of people i care for. silence. cant imagine.
i thought about that because this morning when i woke up.. i couldnt hear anything at all. i freaked out a bit. and it happened again in church today. sigh.. i'm really really scared.
t
Saturday, February 18, 2006
more than franz
pink panther was extremely funny. totally. though there was a guy on my right who had extreme laughing spasms and another on my left who kept msging non-stop to his gf i suppose... it was really funny to watch nevertheless.
went out with yao and field too. the trio. we were the punks man back in mshs man. it was a time to remember then. a time of stringing cusses, fights, piercings, sex, slit wrists and rocknroll baby. haha. details will be spared. well.. its good to look back and know we've grown SLIGHTLY more sensible.
and so it was good to hang out let loose and talk about stuff all day. chicken soup to the soul i say.
oh shucks..
t
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
celebrate love
when i was praying last night.. i realised the reason that i was unhappy and grouchy was because of myself. haha.. i think its always been. i realised that upon reflecting on the phrase
one man's itch, another man's pain. if there's someone out there who can take much more of the hardship and unfairness that i've been facing.. why on earth am i whining and sulking? somehow, i have forgetten that God didnt bestow upon me the spirit of timidity.. but he bestowed the spirit power, love and i think the third one is self-discipline.
so looking on the better side of life.. i've been learning.. and that's priceless to me.
vday today was just weird.. my parents made me sit and listen to them teach me about relationships. my dad even shocked me to bits by saying super shallow stuff like.. "you should go for a girl with nice legs.." (!?!?!?!) only guys like yunxiang would say something like that!! my mom did no better by sharing her theory that if a girl allows you to hold her hand for more than 7 seconds.. than you stand a chance with her. i seriously hope to God they were joking. good thing i could sneak away the moment they started to argue over another lame theory that i couldnt be bothered to listen to. yes. i love my parents still.
and i also realised that results are coming out. i'd be lying if i said i wasnt suffering from insomnia due to scary thoughts about it. but all in all.. whatever the results.. i'm gonna make my parents proud in due time.
t
Friday, February 10, 2006
my job is depressing. really.
t
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
boy, this is going to be exciting. on the other hand, i'm exceedingly scared out of my wits
t
Sunday, February 05, 2006
desert duel
i just watched a show of extreme drama, outright comedy and tear jerking moments. yeah.. the dubai desert classic. i wouldnt watch any random pga event. but today was different. i saw retief goosen plummet from his two stroke lead with some dumb rescue attempt from the sands. only to land his ball right behind a pine tree. thats comedy. so that gave way to tiger woods and ernie els - the three time defending champion mind you. resulting in a tie and and a one on one showdown (i believe goosen was banging his head somewhere in the corner then). the sad part was when ernie els hooked his tee-off which happens every once in a bluemoon.. then landed his shot in the treacherous pond. its sad to know that by just misadjusting your swing by a minute degree.. it would cost you 3 million dollars. well thats golf for you.
oh man.. and i've just started reading this article in todays paper about teenager girls going out with 30 plus yr old men..
bored
shucks.. and i'll be working my butt off on vday
t
Thursday, February 02, 2006
praise for a fractured mind
came across this funny lil poem.. haha. not sure whether it was meant to be a funny poem or not.. but i laughed along with it. hm. maybe because it kinda made sense.
Ah, God, the way your little finger moved
Ah, God, the way your little finger moved
As you thrust a bare arm backward
And made play with your hair
And a comb a silly gilt comb
Ah, God - that I should suffer!
Because of the way a little finger moved.
when i was at kinokuniya.. i found this highly intriguing book. it was written by an author who wrote his on own experience with multiple personality disorder, a memoir aptly called A Fractured Mind. it's very interesting because robert (the "original" author), stressed at the beggining that the book was written by a few "other" people. of course.. its all him! so while reading.. he may be robert at one point.. then later into the chapter.. its a lazier bob who is writing the book.. no sooner.. its tommy.. an angsty lil kid. haha. i was SO into the book i read like a few chapters. so guess i be needing a few more trips there. anyway.. the human mind is so darn interesting. God sure did one fine job on that. now i feel like going for psychology in uni.
sad thing i cant buy the book. it cost 40bucks! and i'm broke. so tempted to use my cny ang paos. but of course.. i never use the money. in fact.. i can proudly say that i've NEVER used my angpao money eversince i could remember. i've been saving all these years so that i can buy a car once i get out of army. wishful thinking on my part? nah
t
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
chu san
hilarious. watched timmo getting trashed by my brother in card games. causing him to scream like a girl everytime. after which he wrestled alvin on my bed. and once again.. tired alv come over for a pitstop. slipping into slumberland the moment he steps into my room. being a teacher sure does work oneself like a drone. haha.
i hate complaining. but i just cant sleep due to the rattlin mahjong rounds opposite my room and the blasting karaoke downstairs. not to mention that its 2 am. BUT.. i still like cny. God forbid me from hating it.
and today my cousin taught and made me recite this..
"so erm.. you know.. i was like wondering if you were free this week...... oh you are? gee.. thats great. so.. erm.. i kinda heard that there's a new hip cafe in town.. and was again wondering if you'd like to check it out with me.. you know.. a lil chat over a cuppa?" then woohoo
t